Take a Bow [And Confess]
Feb. 24th, 2008 12:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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couples_therapy
Therapy Session
Dr. Love: So talk about an apology
Carmen: Yeah...I've got nothing to apologize for. I'm an awesome girlfriend.
Dean: I agree with the awesome girlfriend.
Carmen: See. Session over. We're good. Well adjusted and all that.
Dean: We're like a well oiled machine.
Dean: Like Terminator!
Carmen: And I'm like the new terminator. The hot one that kicks high. He's like Arnie before he got old, boring and governmental.
Dean: That chick is totally hot...
Carmen: Of course she is. Who wants to see some hag walking around kicking ass? It's always hot chicks
Dean: *staring dreamily off into space* Uh what?
Carmen: *smirks and shakes her head* Nothing Babe, continue with the day dreaming.
Dr Love: So you've nothing to apologize for? No clothes strewn all over the house, burnt dinners, late nights, things you might have said in a fight?
Carmen: First I'm an awesome cook. Second fights lead to friggin' amazing make up sex. What's there to apologize for again?
Dean: Clothes 'strewn' all over the house? Uh, yeah I do actually know how to do laundry. It's amazing, I know.
Carmen: He's really not just another pretty face with a great ass. It's cool.
Carmen: But if I should apologize to anyone really it should be my lab tech at work.
Carmen: I made her do three pregnancy tests the other day because they're really only 94% accurate. My birth control is 97% accurate and if it can fail...well you get my point. Finally we ended up just doing a blood test, which is 100% accurate.
Dean: ... ?
Carmen: ...well all the tests were positive. Including the blood test.
Dean: ... ?
Carmen: I thought maybe you know after the first two positive ones that the third was redundant but I was freaking out a little so third test and then...I just thought maybe I should make 100% sure before I...Oh God, I'm pregnant.
Dean: ... Thanks for the update?
Carmen: Dean...I am pregnant and if you so much suggest that it's someone else I swear to God I will get your machete and stab you in the dick with it.
Dean: ... I knocked up a nurse.
Carmen: thanks for the update.
Dean: *laughs* My mom is gonna kill me!!
Carmen: Your Mom is ridiculously excited. I think she bought baby clothes the other day even though I didn't actually tell her I was pregnant. I was puking at the last girls night out we had. And she said I was glowing. I don't know some shit like that.
Dean: Mom knows and you didn't tell me? Dude, you full on suck right now and not in that nice precursor to the baby making way. If Jess knows all bets are off.
Carmen: Jess doesn't know and I didn't tell your Mom. She guessed.
Carmen: She knew before I knew so don't dare tell me I suck.
Dean: But you do, baby, and you're so good at it.
Carmen: I really am aren't I? Which is so not the point.
Carmen: So are you actually planning on stick around for this or am I going to do the single Mom thing and tell the kid what a great guy his or her dad was?
Dean: Carm...
Carmen: Look, I know you got into this for the hot nurse ex beer girl thing and now it just became this whole family thing. I didn't plan this and I'm not trying to trap you. My Mom did the single mom thing and I turned out FINE. I won't even badmouth you. If you decide you can't deal...I'll just...blame it on me and tell them you were great. It was all my fault.
Dean: Carm? Shut up. Seriously. The whole family thing? It's kind of a big deal in my family, remember?
Carmen: Well...yeah. I just...didn't think you wanted one right now. Or possibly ever and I don't want you to think I'm trying to get you to whatever...that being said, you stick around and you better damn well marry me before I get fat.
Carmen: I want to know you're required by law to stick around when I'm fat and bitchy
Dean: Fat and bitchy, that's kind of like tall and btichy right? Ha, I'm used to it.
Carmen: Except you get to have sex with me. So it's better?
Dean: Oh God, Carmen! Why did you put that image in my head? Oh God kill me now.
Carmen: The image of having sex with me?
Carmen: You so better be coming up with something
Dean: I need a drink. That's not what you want to here. I'm just saying.
Carmen: You know so do I but guess what! I can't have one. Baby Winchester would have brain damage.
Dean: As opposed to what me and Sammy have?
Carmen: I'm hoping she'll get my brains
Dean: Hey! I'm smart!
Carmen: You're the one that just implied you and Sam had brain damage
Carmen: I know how you hate it when I argue with you.
Dean: *scratches his head* I... Mom's smart.
Carmen: She's a friggin' genius and a saint. So I should just drink it up huh?
Dean: Well it's not like I know what she did when she was pregnant with me.
Carmen: She was studying to be a nurse. And she's a great Mom. She did everything right Dean
Carmen: And I'm going to do everything right too. Which means I'll probably be even more bitchy. No beer. No tequila. No margaritas or anything fun.
Carmen: My tits will get huge.
Dean: Back rubs and bubble baths and *long pause*
Dean: Lots of chocolate.
Carmen: *leans over and kisses his cheek* You're quite possibly the most awesome boyfriend. I knew I wouldn't be lying when I told our kid you were great.
Dean: I am pretty amazing. See? We don't need to apologize for anything.
Carmen: *looks at Dr. Love* He's right. We're good.
Carmen: So should we go tell Sam he's going to be an uncle so we can watch him flail around like the idiot boy he is?
Dean: ... Yes, yes we should.
Carmen: Maybe we'll lie and say it's twins
Carmen: It's not by the way. At least I'm pretty sure it's not.
Dean: Okay... twins works.
Dean: For Sam
Dean: Not for me.
Dean: Dont' be twins.
Carmen: Right. One set of diapers is more than enough
Dean: Yeah, it is.
couples_therapy Therapy Session
Dr. Love: So talk about an apology
Carmen: Yeah...I've got nothing to apologize for. I'm an awesome girlfriend.
Dean: I agree with the awesome girlfriend.
Carmen: See. Session over. We're good. Well adjusted and all that.
Dean: We're like a well oiled machine.
Dean: Like Terminator!
Carmen: And I'm like the new terminator. The hot one that kicks high. He's like Arnie before he got old, boring and governmental.
Dean: That chick is totally hot...
Carmen: Of course she is. Who wants to see some hag walking around kicking ass? It's always hot chicks
Dean: *staring dreamily off into space* Uh what?
Carmen: *smirks and shakes her head* Nothing Babe, continue with the day dreaming.
Dr Love: So you've nothing to apologize for? No clothes strewn all over the house, burnt dinners, late nights, things you might have said in a fight?
Carmen: First I'm an awesome cook. Second fights lead to friggin' amazing make up sex. What's there to apologize for again?
Dean: Clothes 'strewn' all over the house? Uh, yeah I do actually know how to do laundry. It's amazing, I know.
Carmen: He's really not just another pretty face with a great ass. It's cool.
Carmen: But if I should apologize to anyone really it should be my lab tech at work.
Carmen: I made her do three pregnancy tests the other day because they're really only 94% accurate. My birth control is 97% accurate and if it can fail...well you get my point. Finally we ended up just doing a blood test, which is 100% accurate.
Dean: ... ?
Carmen: ...well all the tests were positive. Including the blood test.
Dean: ... ?
Carmen: I thought maybe you know after the first two positive ones that the third was redundant but I was freaking out a little so third test and then...I just thought maybe I should make 100% sure before I...Oh God, I'm pregnant.
Dean: ... Thanks for the update?
Carmen: Dean...I am pregnant and if you so much suggest that it's someone else I swear to God I will get your machete and stab you in the dick with it.
Dean: ... I knocked up a nurse.
Carmen: thanks for the update.
Dean: *laughs* My mom is gonna kill me!!
Carmen: Your Mom is ridiculously excited. I think she bought baby clothes the other day even though I didn't actually tell her I was pregnant. I was puking at the last girls night out we had. And she said I was glowing. I don't know some shit like that.
Dean: Mom knows and you didn't tell me? Dude, you full on suck right now and not in that nice precursor to the baby making way. If Jess knows all bets are off.
Carmen: Jess doesn't know and I didn't tell your Mom. She guessed.
Carmen: She knew before I knew so don't dare tell me I suck.
Dean: But you do, baby, and you're so good at it.
Carmen: I really am aren't I? Which is so not the point.
Carmen: So are you actually planning on stick around for this or am I going to do the single Mom thing and tell the kid what a great guy his or her dad was?
Dean: Carm...
Carmen: Look, I know you got into this for the hot nurse ex beer girl thing and now it just became this whole family thing. I didn't plan this and I'm not trying to trap you. My Mom did the single mom thing and I turned out FINE. I won't even badmouth you. If you decide you can't deal...I'll just...blame it on me and tell them you were great. It was all my fault.
Dean: Carm? Shut up. Seriously. The whole family thing? It's kind of a big deal in my family, remember?
Carmen: Well...yeah. I just...didn't think you wanted one right now. Or possibly ever and I don't want you to think I'm trying to get you to whatever...that being said, you stick around and you better damn well marry me before I get fat.
Carmen: I want to know you're required by law to stick around when I'm fat and bitchy
Dean: Fat and bitchy, that's kind of like tall and btichy right? Ha, I'm used to it.
Carmen: Except you get to have sex with me. So it's better?
Dean: Oh God, Carmen! Why did you put that image in my head? Oh God kill me now.
Carmen: The image of having sex with me?
Carmen: You so better be coming up with something
Dean: I need a drink. That's not what you want to here. I'm just saying.
Carmen: You know so do I but guess what! I can't have one. Baby Winchester would have brain damage.
Dean: As opposed to what me and Sammy have?
Carmen: I'm hoping she'll get my brains
Dean: Hey! I'm smart!
Carmen: You're the one that just implied you and Sam had brain damage
Carmen: I know how you hate it when I argue with you.
Dean: *scratches his head* I... Mom's smart.
Carmen: She's a friggin' genius and a saint. So I should just drink it up huh?
Dean: Well it's not like I know what she did when she was pregnant with me.
Carmen: She was studying to be a nurse. And she's a great Mom. She did everything right Dean
Carmen: And I'm going to do everything right too. Which means I'll probably be even more bitchy. No beer. No tequila. No margaritas or anything fun.
Carmen: My tits will get huge.
Dean: Back rubs and bubble baths and *long pause*
Dean: Lots of chocolate.
Carmen: *leans over and kisses his cheek* You're quite possibly the most awesome boyfriend. I knew I wouldn't be lying when I told our kid you were great.
Dean: I am pretty amazing. See? We don't need to apologize for anything.
Carmen: *looks at Dr. Love* He's right. We're good.
Carmen: So should we go tell Sam he's going to be an uncle so we can watch him flail around like the idiot boy he is?
Dean: ... Yes, yes we should.
Carmen: Maybe we'll lie and say it's twins
Carmen: It's not by the way. At least I'm pretty sure it's not.
Dean: Okay... twins works.
Dean: For Sam
Dean: Not for me.
Dean: Dont' be twins.
Carmen: Right. One set of diapers is more than enough
Dean: Yeah, it is.
